Boundaries

If I could encourage everyone (in both my professional and personal life) to work on ONE thing to benefit their mental health, it would be this. Setting healthy boundaries is an art, not a science. Building healthy boundaries with others (external boundaries) and within yourself (internal boundaries) requires multiple attempts and adjustments, or a trial and error process, which is what makes the difference between trying to set boundaries on your own versus with professional help and objective feedback that therapy can provide.

When learning how to set healthy boundaries, I help clients overcome their barriers and fears of making the changes necessary for better boundaries, identify what boundaries they want, and practice various examples of how to achieve their boundary. One of the biggest misconceptions I notice in boundaries work is that many people think that boundaries are requests, when in fact, boundaries are ACTIONS. Yes, it’s polite and thoughtful to communicate what the boundary is, but when we give the responsibility of upholding that boundary to the other person with no follow through, we have no boundary.

Along with education and in session practice, I also incorporate DBT interpersonal effectiveness skills to help clients improve their effectiveness if needing to have a difficult conversation with a loved one, or express hurt or pain.