It seems fitting to write about change during my own transition from working with a private practice group to doing it on my own. I kept saying that I felt like I was jumping off of a cliff from a perfectly cozy sofa. I talked myself into and out of embarking on this new journey on a daily basis for weeks. Why? Because I’m SUCH a creature of habit. Once I get comfortable, I’m good with it for the long haul.

Mostly, change seems like the enemy because of the emotional discomfort - not necessarily the end result. Of course, everyone can look back in their lives and remember some changes that didn’t turn out that great, but for the most part, there are good things and bad things to the changed state as well as good things and bad things about the way it was before!

It’s all about perspective. Let’s say your partner wants to move into a new apartment. Bigger kitchen, more storage, and a walk in closet! What’s not to love?! (CHANGE. THAT’S WHAT) But ok, seriously, you love the apartment you have now. It’s working just fine. Sure the kitchen feels cramped, but it’s YOUR kitchen. Sure the closets could be bigger, and there could be more room for storage, but there are other ways around that problem. The new place just won’t feel like home. HERE’S WHY: it doesn’t have your stuff in it yet! It has NO memories. You can’t visualize yourself there and your crystal ball is busted so you can’t look into the future to see if it will end up ok. Sticking with the metaphor…think back to when you moved into the apartment you’re in now and how uncomfortable that was!

The deal is that we have to accept that there are pros and cons to BOTH apartments. You’ll focus on what’s wrong with the new apartment so you don’t have to experience change. You feel you can’t tolerate the discomfort of the unknown, when you’ve faced the discomfort of the unknown with success all your life. I KNOW some of you are thinking, “BUT I HAVEN’T”. What about every time you drive to the store? You may do this without even thinking about it. But at one point, it was new. At one time, it felt scary, uncertain, and vulnerable. You even were very aware of the risk of a car accident. But the more and more you did it, you got COMFORTABLE.

BOTTOM LINE: Everyone likes to feel comfortable. The only way you can create that feeling is to do something on repeat. Then, you’ll feel like you’ve settled into a new cozy sofa that you’ll fight to leave in the future! So decide what you want not based on a fear, but based on this question: when I get old, and I look back on this decision (whether it ends up good or bad), do I want to say that I took a risk or not? If your answer is that you wouldn’t regret staying put, then by all means stay put! But if you have a suspicion you would regret not doing something different, then fight through the discomfort, and find out what’s on the other side.